My Concealed Depression

My thoughts on my lifetime of Major Depressive Disorder with suicidal ideation.

Facts and myths about mental illness

Evergreen – Lessons I’ve Learned From 50 Years of High-Functioning Depression

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It's been almost 2 1/2 years since I checked in to 5 East. What I have learned since then has changed my life in ways I could never have imagined. The morning I went to the ER, I was so tightly up against the wall that I could not see anything except the abyss. At that moment, I was way past circling the drain. And as I have recounted many times, that morning I saw only … [Read more...] about Evergreen – Lessons I’ve Learned From 50 Years of High-Functioning Depression

OK, I’m Up and Moving, So Now What?

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A plan without action is just a wish, or a dream. Taking action puts the plan out there. Yes, it can be scary because now people know what you are doing. They see the results of your actions. I feel I can create the best plans, but in the past few weeks, I have executed very few. I'm not a deer in headlights, but I sure am not feeling insync with myself. But today I changed … [Read more...] about OK, I’m Up and Moving, So Now What?

My Psychiatrist Asked Me, “When Is Enough, Enough”?

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Last night I had a virtual therapy appointment. I remember my therapist had asked a question and I was responding. It was my side of the story I was relating. Not just the facts or my feelings about it, but I was defending my actions. My decision and why I made it was a source of pride I suppose. My therapist stopped me and said, “I hear … [Read more...] about My Psychiatrist Asked Me, “When Is Enough, Enough”?

Has Depression made Me an Overachiever?

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Is depression spurring on my overachieving, or would I be an overachiever without depression? That’s what I am grappling with today. Understanding where this need to do is coming from, I am looking at all possibilities. I cannot remember a time where I didn’t feel the need to be productive. As far back as I can remember, I have always … [Read more...] about Has Depression made Me an Overachiever?