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“I Suffer From Depression.” Here’s What I Am Learning.

End Child Anxiety

Guilt and Shame

Depression Won’t Let Me Make the Call

April 11, 2022 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

I'm afraid to call my peer support and depression is making me feel guilty and ashamed for not being strong enough to make the call.

I haven’t spoken to my peer support contact in over 2 weeks. In fact, I have been ignoring her calls, letting them go to voice mail. It’s not that I do not want to talk to her. She has been one of my most ardent supporters for the past three years. Her observations have helped me understand my medication choices. And she has given me the confidence to speak up for … [Read more...] about Depression Won’t Let Me Make the Call

Is It Really Just Me Changing My Attitude?

April 6, 2022 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

I know that I cannot control events, but I can control my attitude towards them.

Making changes in my attitude towards events should be easy. The power goes out at the house. I can cry about it, saying things like, “well that’s just great, now I cannot work on the computer.” Or, I can say, “power out? No problem, because I have the generator on the porch and I can run the refrigerator, a light, the TV, and the internet. And by running the plugs a certain … [Read more...] about Is It Really Just Me Changing My Attitude?

Was It My Depression or Did I Really Do That?

April 5, 2022 by Depression Is Not My Boss 1 Comment

I want to blame my depression for the decisions I have made over the past 40 years

Looks like I am shoulding all over myself this morning. I find myself looking at past opportunities that I have squandered and not fully taken advantage of. Of course, I am focusing on what I remember as big, earthshattering occurrences, the likes of which I may never see again. So already I have hit three unhelpful thinking styles. All or Nothing, Time Travel, and … [Read more...] about Was It My Depression or Did I Really Do That?

I’m Feeling Embarrassed and Guilty For Not Being a Better Patient

April 1, 2022 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

I feel bad that I am not a better patient and that I am using depression to keep professional medical help away from me.

I know they are only trying to help. And I want to be helped. Or so I say. But is that true? Am I feeling so guilty and embarrassed about talking to someone about my depression that I am pushing away those who want to help? I did that with two therapists, and now I am close to pushing away my peer advocate. They are professionals who are in my life to help me learn to … [Read more...] about I’m Feeling Embarrassed and Guilty For Not Being a Better Patient

The Day Has Just Begun, Why Does Depression Think I’m Finished?

March 23, 2022 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

The day has just begun but depression is telling me that it is done and cannot do any more today

It could be a slight case of jet lag, or the fact that yesterday I worked a much later shift than normal. Or it may be a combination of the two. Either way, I am not feeling very productive this morning. That is the real culprit. It is not the fact that I am plodding along this morning. Feeling bad about plodding along is what’s going on. I am allowing myself to feel … [Read more...] about The Day Has Just Begun, Why Does Depression Think I’m Finished?

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I write My Concealed Depression to create Mental Health AwarenessHello, I am Joel. I have Major Depressive Disorder.  I am genuinely determined to figure out my personal relationship with depression. With 40+ years of living with concealed depression, I write my blog to find answers. 

I once got so carried away searching for answers that I even earned a  certification in  SMART Recovery. 

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  • I Feel So Guilty for Not Doing More Today
  • I Took a Self-Care Day and I Don’t Feel Guilty
  • I’m Gaining Weight – Can I Blame My Depression?
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