My Concealed Depression

My thoughts on my lifetime of Major Depressive Disorder with suicidal ideation.

Mental Health

A Decision To Control My Attitude With 101 Coping Statements For Depression And Anxiety

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Being in control is important to me. I think most people seek this in some fashion. Even the most depressed and anxious people have their limits. And I know there are lines I will not cross. Sometimes I learn where these lines are when I explode. Tamping down my responses, I am a powder keg ready to explode. I pack more and more emotions into this vessel, in my attempts … [Read more...] about A Decision To Control My Attitude With 101 Coping Statements For Depression And Anxiety

I Want To Think I Can, But Depression Has Me Feeling I Cannot

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I don’t get it, why am I feeling so average, so run-of-the-mill? From a big picture perspective, things are going great. The job is exciting as I am getting to do a lot of teaching. I’m planning again, not just hoping to make it through the day.  My daily to-do list is getting longer, which is something I thrive on. And even as … [Read more...] about I Want To Think I Can, But Depression Has Me Feeling I Cannot

What happened to “fake it ‘til you make it?”

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I’m stuck in the doldrums again. Maybe it’s the fact that it is August and things are just hot. People are in vacation mode after missing last year due to the Pandemic. Everyone is getting cabin fever and is doing things to escape the house.  In June, we got out of town and visited family for the first time in more than a … [Read more...] about What happened to “fake it ‘til you make it?”

Why Is Depression Having Me Think the S-Word Again?

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It has been months since it I've had a sucicidal thought. And while I know that I am not circling the drain, it is still a bit unnerving to have a suicidal thought flash in my head. Things have really been going well. I am healthy and am finally beginning to shed some of my Covid pounds. There have been many positive occasions in the past few months. A wedding, a first … [Read more...] about Why Is Depression Having Me Think the S-Word Again?

Is This What Getting to Know you Feels Like? Part II

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I’m backsliding. Where I once wanted to know what someone else was thinking, now I am back to tell them what I want to say. OK, so this is not an every time thing, but as I re-read my post from September 18, 2019, I can see I am missing something. READ: Is This What Getting To Know You Feels Like That day, when I shared time with two people, I connected in a very concrete … [Read more...] about Is This What Getting to Know you Feels Like? Part II