We flew from Dulles Airport near Washington, DC (USA) on Sunday morning. It was a brisk 16 degrees Fahrenheit. It is now Thursday, and the air temperature just outside of Panama City, near the canal, is already 82 degrees. We are picking up my son tonight and have booked a 6-hour boat tour that includes traveling through the locks. I cannot wait! Today, we are starting … [Read more...] about I Went to See the Panama Canal—and Avoided My Feelings Instead
My Depression
Why I Still Need Therapy at 70—and What Happens When I Miss It
Since I began with my new therapist over a year ago, I have missed several weeks of therapy. The first week it happened was because of a family vacation. I must admit that I was worked up about it, but the anxiety was unfounded. The week went smoothly, and I didn’t circle the drain on the way to the abyss. In fact, it was a non-event. Now I am out of the country for … [Read more...] about Why I Still Need Therapy at 70—and What Happens When I Miss It
My Depression Wants to Know Why I Am Retiring
[ I just sent this to my siblings, wife, children, nieces, and nephews. My goal is to update them on my relationship with my depression and alert them to my second retirement.] I began getting a paycheck before I was ten. I kind of fudged my birthday so I could deliver the Montgomery County Sentinel newspaper once a week. The newspaper said I must be ten. I was going to … [Read more...] about My Depression Wants to Know Why I Am Retiring
I Look Fine. I’m Not. Here’s What You Don’t See.
Hidden depression is the ability to live with a constant ache that cannot be seen, but is felt. People may view you as being "fine" simply because you wake each day, work, engage in conversation, and can laugh on cue. I have gotten very, very good at looking alright. I smile, people know I can always crack a joke, and I show up and do what needs to be done. From the … [Read more...] about I Look Fine. I’m Not. Here’s What You Don’t See.
What High-Functioning (Concealed) Depression Really Looks Like
If you saw me back then, you’d never guess I was struggling. Or so I thought, anyway, that was my plan.I got up every morning, went to work, paid my bills, smiled at people, and said, “I’m fine.” I showed up for everyone else, even when I couldn’t show up for myself.But inside, I felt like I was not feeling at all. Often on the inside, I felt up against the wall, with no way … [Read more...] about What High-Functioning (Concealed) Depression Really Looks Like
