I have been afraid to write about this subject. While people who have suicidal ideation will get it, the vast majority of people do not understand this or are afraid to talk about it. For 43+ years, I was afraid of getting anywhere near the subject. It turns out, I have a major depressive disorder, with suicidal ideation. My suicidal thoughts are not an everyday … [Read more...] about “Those Thoughts,” Are They My Suicidal Ideation?
The cost of success
Super Focused, Then Super Distrac… Oh Look, a Squirrel
My mind is all over the place lately. Now I know there is a lot going on, but that is no excuse. OK, so a year ago I was in the hospital being treated for MDD, major depressive disorder. Then I came out of retirement and went back to work in management. Then, the pandemic happened and all sorts of customs (social distancing) and costumes (masks) have become the new … [Read more...] about Super Focused, Then Super Distrac… Oh Look, a Squirrel
Every Day I Push the Same Rock Up the Same Hill
Some days it is a pebble and the hill is hardly noticeable. Other days, it is a boulder and the hill is more of a mountain, that ascends almost vertically from the valley floor. During these days, my depression is everything. Concealing it and acting to the world like nothing is wrong takes all my energy. And I mean every single ounce of energy I can muster to keep people … [Read more...] about Every Day I Push the Same Rock Up the Same Hill
I Found 7 Tips for Living with Depression
Depression is a serious mood disorder that affects millions of people in the U.S. every year — but an array of effective treatments and strategies are available. Annually, about 1 in 15 adults will live with depression or experience at least one major depressive episode. In 2017, an estimated 17.3 million adults “had at least one major depressive episode,” according to the … [Read more...] about I Found 7 Tips for Living with Depression
Have I Fallen Off the Recovery Wagon?
Or maybe I am still on it, but I am not driving it? Whatever it is, it feels unproductive. I’ve read a lot of articles recently by medical professionals who say it is OK to feel anxious right now. Afterall, pandemics have not come around too often. So, they say don’ beat yourself up if you feel anxious. But for me, having an out if you will, lets me off the … [Read more...] about Have I Fallen Off the Recovery Wagon?