Today my Psychiatrist upped my Prozac to 40mg daily. This is double the 20 mg I have been taking since the end of April. Thinking about how this came to be, I am sad, mad and glad that it happened. Taking medication, along with therapy seems like a straight-forward process. You see a doctor, get a pill, your cured! Reality is nothing like that. I am sad because took a … [Read more...] about Doing the Drugs; Part II
therapy
I can’t believe I lied to my Psychiatrist
Well, maybe I just did not tell him everything. That sounds a lot better. Yet, in the end, I wasn’t honest about how I was doing. My years of practice hiding and concealing my depression kicked in when I went in to see him last week. It had been three months since I first saw him, and I made a lot of progress. With all the work I have done to … [Read more...] about I can’t believe I lied to my Psychiatrist
28 weeks into recovery, now I have residual depression?
I knew living with depression was not going to be a cakewalk. There are challenges and setbacks, successes and snags in my recovery. Now I find out that there are response and remission. I know I was thinking of my recovery as remission. How naive is that? Speaking with my Peer Advocate today, I heard the term residual depression for the first time. Until today, I did … [Read more...] about 28 weeks into recovery, now I have residual depression?
Where is the Proof That “I Am Not Enough?”
Why do I feel "I am NOT enough?" All I need is one more certification and then I can really be effective in my side business. Once I achieve my goal of going to the gym 5 times a week, then life will be fine. When I have X number of dollars a month coming in, then everything will be great. All I need is a title, then I am somebody. Sitting on the front porch, drinking … [Read more...] about Where is the Proof That “I Am Not Enough?”
Today I am thinking about who I am writing for
What a pompous ass I have been. The reason I started blogging was an attempt on my part to figure out some order in the chaos brought on by my depression. With 43+ years of practice concealing it, saying I have depression is a new idea. And then working on the sneaky ways it invents itself so that I will go along with its cockamamie ideas without going down the rabbit hole … [Read more...] about Today I am thinking about who I am writing for
