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“I Suffer From Depression.” Here’s What I Am Learning.

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You are here: Home / Medication / Doing the Drugs; Part II

Doing the Drugs; Part II

November 23, 2019 by Depression Is Not My Boss 3 Comments

40 mg of Prozac to cope with depression and unhelpful thinking

Today my Psychiatrist upped my Prozac to 40mg daily.

This is double the 20 mg I have been taking since the end of April.

Thinking about how this came to be, I am sad, mad and glad that it happened. Taking medication, along with therapy seems like a straight-forward process. You see a doctor, get a pill, your cured! Reality is nothing like that.

I am sad because took a week after my Psychiatrist appointment for me to understand that I had not been completely truthful.

My concealed depression kicked in big time as I walked into the room and I was my old, “hide your feelings at all cost” self. This is not a good strategy when you are trying to recover and lead a balanced life.

This made me mad at myself for not being honest, for hiding how I was truly feeling.

Depression saw this as a chance to keep me down, to derail my recovery and it stepped in big time. Recently, I have been very good at catching unhelpful thinking. Sometimes I do it immediately, almost always within a few hours.

It took a week for me to understand that I had not been clear with my Psychiatrist about how I was doing. This takes me right back to “shoulding” on myself. That never ends well.

READ: I promise not to “should” on myself today.

It turns out you can be in recovery and not be “cured.” In fact, living with Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) is a lifelong endeavor. And I can be making great strides in some areas while still needing help in others. (Hmm, that sounds a lot like life.)

Finally, I am glad that it happened.

After seven days, I made the call to my Psychiatrist and outlined what I had not told him in our last visit. This included on-going sleep issues and my gaining almost seven pounds in the past few weeks. Then there is the lack of enjoyment associated with the daily things that I used to take great pleasure in, working in the yard, keeping my home office organized. And I wont even mention my ongoing struggle with guilt and shame.

40 mg of Prozac is what we agreed on. I started this larger dose today.

I am to report my progress in three weeks to my Psychiatrist, sooner if there are any significant side effects. The next option may be to add a second type of drug that works in concert with the Prozac. That’s the future.

For today, I am doing the drugs.

Filed Under: Featured Home, Medication, Self Care, Sleep Issues, therapy, Unhelpful thinking, What depression has cost me Tagged With: depression, drugs, prozac, prozac 40mg, prozac20mg, unhealthy thinking styles, Unhelpful thinking, unhelpful thinking styles

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I write My Concealed Depression to create Mental Health AwarenessHello, I am Joel. I have Major Depressive Disorder.  I am genuinely determined to figure out my personal relationship with depression. With 40+ years of living with concealed depression, I write my blog to find answers. 

I once got so carried away searching for answers that I even earned a  certification in  SMART Recovery. 

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