Facing my depression, and saying it's name out loud, has been work. Sometimes the work has been exhausting. It has only been easy on rare occasions. Most of the time some effort is required on my part to call out depression’s antics and to work through an alternative that doesn’t involve unhelpful thinking. Yet in the past, time travel worked. I was able to ruminate … [Read more...] about Why Can’t I Just Make It Easy And Stop Facing My Depression?
WRAP (Wellness Recovery Action Plan)
With Or Without Depression, It’s Never Always Rainbows and Unicorns
I cannot believe depression had me thinking this. Having just gone through a period of four weeks with increasing signs of a relapse, I am relieved that it is over. Well, over for the moment. Not over as in I will never have to go through that again. Yet each time this happens, I want to think it will never happen again. Coming out of the abyss, I see a new world, full of … [Read more...] about With Or Without Depression, It’s Never Always Rainbows and Unicorns
I Pulled Out My Early Warning Action Plan this morning
I wrote it almost three years ago and hoped I’d never need it. However, I am darn glad I did. Creating it was a big part of one specific weekly session I attended at On Our Own. There was a workbook each of us was given during the first meeting of the group. The leader went through a section of the workbook during each session. The class size was as small as four some … [Read more...] about I Pulled Out My Early Warning Action Plan this morning
Depression Is Not My Boss (Day 1 revisited)
Thirty-three months ago, I returned home after spending four days in 5 East. I was a mess, pure and simple. My diagnosis was Major Depressive Disorder, with suicidal ideation. Heck, just the name sounded like a gigantic problem. My depression left me with no ambition except to make it to the end of the day. My goal then was to make it until dark. Then I could reward myself … [Read more...] about Depression Is Not My Boss (Day 1 revisited)
With Depression, I Can Do What I Want, Can’t I?
Having control over my attitude towards events is all I can do. But that one thing is extremely powerful. It sent men to the moon after the Soviet Union put Sputnik into space. The US program was still launching high-altitude weather balloons. After Sputnik, the attitude of the country was “we have to do something.” And Kennedy making that promise, in front of the world … [Read more...] about With Depression, I Can Do What I Want, Can’t I?