I’m freezing, standing still, no decisive plan to move. And this lack of movement is making me feel angry, frustrated (is that a feeling?) and a touch sad. I know I should be completing projects. The evidence of that is strewn across my desk, is tossed carelessly on the floorboards of my truck, and piled in a heap in my closet, instead of being in the hamper. My … [Read more...] about Deer in Headlights
I guess in many ways I still am. I am learning how to live with depression after avoiding facing it for over 43+ years. I had a whole system in place to protect myself from the truth. I lived through at least four major episodes before winding up in the hospital a year ago. That marked the turning point in my relationship with depression. Now I am on a first-name … [Read more...] about With Depression in Full Bloom, I was a Mess Last Year.
Five months of mostly cloudy. My mind is not clear and crisp on most days. And for the first hour or two after I finally get up, my mind is the foggiest. I am yawning, even though I have been in bed for over 8 hours. If that translated into 8 hours of sleep, my mornings might be different. After I first fall asleep, I begin a cycle of waking up at 1 AM, 3 AM, 4:30 … [Read more...] about 7 Reasons I’m Tired of Being Tired
I get so caught up in myself. An unhelpful thought pops into my head and the next thing I know, I am off living in the future. I had been concerned about having my work email on my phone. Finding excuses and reasons why I could not get it set up gave me control over my relationship with work. This past weekend, I was working with a customer and decided to add the work … [Read more...] about What do you know, it really is not about me?
I have spent over 100 days building my life facing depression, with the mantra "depression is not my boss." And yet, with all the support groups, therapy sessions, psychiatrist appointments, and independent reading I have done, I have not owned up to my own self-worth. I realized yesterday that I have not created healthy boundaries for myself. I am allowing others needs … [Read more...] about What am I Teaching People About How to Treat Me?