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End Child Anxiety

“I Live With Depression.” Here’s What I Am Learning About It.

Archives for June 2019

I Gained 10 pounds – I Must be Cured!

June 25, 2019 by Depression Is Not My Boss 1 Comment

When I was up against the wall, in the days leading up to my checking into the hospital, I was forcing myself to eat. I did not have an appetite. I was drinking 86 or more ounces of water each day but eating very few calories. So, here’s the story. In the seven months after retiring, I had put on 20 pounds. This made sense, as I was now sitting most of the day, instead of … [Read more...] about I Gained 10 pounds – I Must be Cured!

If depression is not my boss, why can’t I take a vacation?

June 24, 2019 by Depression Is Not My Boss 1 Comment

Depression won't let me take a vacation.

Why can’t I set boundaries between work and downtime? What is stopping me from saying, "I need a day off?" Well, I have been saying to myself for a while that I need some downtime, a short vacation. I just haven’t done it, I haven't taken action. Depression has me convinced that the house will burn down if I take a day off. In fact, if I take 2 ½ hours and get on the riding … [Read more...] about If depression is not my boss, why can’t I take a vacation?

Why just rewriting my negative scripts didn’t help

June 23, 2019 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Searching online for resources about mental health, I came across a group in the UK. They offer many free downloads of handouts and offer workshops if you live near them. I downloaded their “7 key points to achieve a resilient mindset.” Click the link and you can get a copy. This got me thinking about how I am scripting my thoughts about my daily focus. I have been spending … [Read more...] about Why just rewriting my negative scripts didn’t help

What do my days look like?

June 22, 2019 by Depression Is Not My Boss 1 Comment

What will my days look like with concealed depression

After 52 blog posts, I’m having a “moment.” Until this morning, I have been overflowing with things to write about. When I pull out the laptop and sit down in a chair on the front porch, the words have just poured out of me. Well today, they are colliding. I can’t make sense of any of them. I can’t get past the first paragraph. I’ve been here before. I should know that this … [Read more...] about What do my days look like?

Why can’t I let my guard down?

June 21, 2019 by Depression Is Not My Boss 7 Comments

Getting in touch with my emotions is part of the healing process. While I am expressing more of them, I am still playing my cards, in certain situations, close to the vest. I don't let people see behind the mask.  Let me give you an example. In the group meetings I am attending, I am completely transparent. I have held absolutely nothing back. It feels good to share … [Read more...] about Why can’t I let my guard down?

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I write My Concealed Depression to create Mental Health AwarenessHello, I am Joel. I have Major Depressive Disorder.  I am genuinely determined to figure out my personal relationship with depression. With 40+ years of living with concealed depression, I write my blog to find answers. 

I once got so carried away searching for answers that I even earned a  certification in  SMART Recovery. 

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