Suddenly, I am back to thinking about survivor’s guilt. Having survived my hospitalization for Major Depressive Disorder, I am moving forward. Using the tools I discovered over the past 28 months, I am finding myself equipped to address depression’s ideas. And depression still has ideas. It wants me to come out and play. It misses our time together. Depression has had to … [Read more...] about Having Survivor’s Guilt About Depression, Is It OK To Feel OK?
OK, I’m Ready To Get Started!
The first email I can find about the project was from the middle of March. (Please read to the end. Sometimes I need to warm up to the depression part) That was 5 months ago. Then, it seemed like only a matter of weeks and the garage construction would be underway. With three estimates in hand and conversations with all three contractors, we had made our choice. March … [Read more...] about OK, I’m Ready To Get Started!
Depression is Not My Fault, But What About Where My Decisions Lead Me?
Daily I repeat to myself, “I have depression, depression does not have me.” And I have been fortunate to have help reinforcing that idea. From medicine management, WRAP, SMART Recovery, the Change Triangle, and more, I have tools. And I have peer support. All of this has helped me gain a clearer perspective on depression and how it has altered the trajectory of my … [Read more...] about Depression is Not My Fault, But What About Where My Decisions Lead Me?
Just Another Monday in The Land of Depression
Yesterday, I worked outside. I mowed the grass in front of the house and along the gravel driveway. This led to mowing along the fence, and into the orchard. Getting the weed eater out, I trimmed along the front porch and the outside of the fence behind the strawberries. From there I worked around the deck and the back of the house. As I trimmed, I watched for snakes, but … [Read more...] about Just Another Monday in The Land of Depression
I’m So Tired of My Depression
Projecting a positive, can-do attitude some days takes all the energy I have. And I am beginning to feel overwhelmed by the demands I am placing on myself. Once again, no one is forcing me to behave a certain way. I am free to live my life using my internal compass. Knowingly, I relinquish some of that freedom as a partner in marriage. Doing the right thing as a marriage … [Read more...] about I’m So Tired of My Depression