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Green apples with smiley faces symbolizing concealed depression.

My Concealed Depression

My thoughts on my lifetime of Major Depressive Disorder with suicidal ideation.

Facts and myths about mental illness

What Makes You Think I Would Choose Concealed Depression?

February 14, 2022 by Depression Is Not My Boss

What makes you think I would chose concealed depression as the way I want to live my life? I want to be stronger than that.

Stigma is the first thing that comes to mind. Second, I am always surprised when I learn someone else has the same concerns about sharing their concealed whatever. And seeing Jill's admission that she sometimes opened up to a boss leads me to believe she is one of the bravest people I have ever read about. I am not at all comfortable about sharing my high-functioning … [Read more...] about What Makes You Think I Would Choose Concealed Depression?

Why Do I Think I Need a Day Off?

February 12, 2022 by Depression Is Not My Boss

Why do I think that I need a day off? Self-care has not been a thought of mine lately, but that is really what I need.

But if I do not act on that idea, then so what? I have felt like I needed some time off since early December. In fact, staying relaxed, and in the moment has gotten harder and harder to achieve. I can see very few moments where I have accomplished this. Recently, I spoke with a couple about my grandson and their grandson. We spent almost 3 minutes comparing notes as … [Read more...] about Why Do I Think I Need a Day Off?

I Pulled Out My Early Warning Action Plan this morning

February 8, 2022 by Depression Is Not My Boss

I am pulling out my wellness recovery action plan to see what I wrote about my early warning signs that I can use to stay well

I wrote it almost three years ago and hoped I’d never need it. However, I am darn glad I did. Creating it was a big part of one specific weekly session I attended at On Our Own. There was a workbook each of us was given during the first meeting of the group. The leader went through a section of the workbook during each session. The class size was as … [Read more...] about I Pulled Out My Early Warning Action Plan this morning

With Depression, Why Can’t I Get Past the Past?

February 7, 2022 by Depression Is Not My Boss

Today I have unhelpful thinking and depression wants me to feel sorry for myself

Today I am feeling sorry for myself. Ok, I have been dragging around feeling sorry for myself for at least a month. And at the same time, I have been trying to hide it from even myself. I can turn on the positive, let’s do anything attitude while at work. To me, I am giving 100% during the workday. The feedback I get from managers and employees is that I … [Read more...] about With Depression, Why Can’t I Get Past the Past?

Depression Is Not My Boss (Day 1 revisited)

February 2, 2022 by Depression Is Not My Boss

I am thinking back to my forst day out of the hospital and how far I have come by repeating Depression Is Not My Boss

Thirty-three months ago, I returned home after spending four days in 5 East. I was a mess, pure and simple. My diagnosis was Major Depressive Disorder, with suicidal ideation. Heck, just the name sounded like a gigantic problem. My depression left me with no ambition except to make it to the end of the day. My goal then was to make it until dark. Then I could reward myself … [Read more...] about Depression Is Not My Boss (Day 1 revisited)

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Joel Natl Career Fair Bio Pic he's using for my concealed depressionHello, I am Joel Quas 

In April 2019, I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder with suicidal ideation. By writing things out, I am learning more about my relationship with depression. 

Joel’s Next Book

The US has a a new 988 system that grabs location, not just area code.
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