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My Concealed Depression

You are here: Home / Featured Home / Concert tickets for tonight. Should this be fun?

Concert tickets for tonight. Should this be fun?

July 21, 2019 by Depression Is Not My Boss

Crowd at a concert raising rock hand signs and capturing moments with phones.

Back in February, I saw Bruce Hornsby was coming to a local venue at the end of July.

I jumped on tickets the day they went on sale and got three tickets, fifth row, center. I was very excited. The tickets were delivered by the US mail in an unassuming white business-size envelope.

After opening the letter and reviewing the tickets, I put the envelope on a clipboard that hangs on the wall beside my desk. Every so often I would look at the envelope and think about how fun going to the show will be.

So why am I not excited?

I have seen him in concert twice before. How puts every ounce of energy into his performances. He has a wide variety of songs. Some call out injustices and some are just plain fun to listen to. He is a great performer.

And he and I have a mutual friend. Bruce went to a neighboring high school and graduated a year or two before me. I had a close friend who went out with Bruce. The rumor is she broke up with him after they dated for a while.

Now I’ve never met Bruce socially, we never hung out together, and I have never been to his home, but I feel that I have a connection.

The concert is tonight, and I am getting ready to go soon.

I know it will be fun once I get there, but I am not overly motivated to get moving. In the past, I have planned dinner before or after a show like this. But someone else is taking care of that this time. Other than purchasing the tickets and making sure my schedule was clear to go, I haven’t had any involvement in this evenings planning.

This concert should be part of my self-care.

Getting out, enjoying live music is something I do enjoy. I have ticket stubs from dozens and dozens of shows over the years, So, why am I feeling blah tonight?

It’s possible, returning to work outside the home has something to do with this. I just finished my first week and will need to be up very early tomorrow morning to begin week two. In the past, schedules that ran together never bothered me, especially if there was a concert or a live event involved.

Maybe I am just a little tired this afternoon.

But that won’t stop me from going. Besides the fact that the tickets weren’t cheap, I have been looking forward to seeing Bruce Hornsby in concert again. And this is my first time going to the venue he is playing at.

So, I am going to change into a fresh attitude.

My attitude will be to relax, go and enjoy the music, the venue, and the live performance by an artist I enjoy.

I’ll let tomorrow take care of itself.

Your thoughts, comments, likes, and shares are appreciated as I continue my journey.

Filed Under: Featured Home Tagged With: Bruce Hornsby, Bruce Horsnby and the Noisemakers, depression, life, lifestyle, mental health, self care, unhealthy thinking styles, Unhelpful thinking, unhelpful thinking styles, worries, worry

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In April 2019, I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder with suicidal ideation. By writing things out, I am learning more about my relationship with depression. 

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