• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • About
  • Mental Health Resources
    • Depression Resources
  • Blog
    • Coping
    • Medication
    • Self Care
    • Stress and Anxiety
    • Unhelpful thinking
      • Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda
      • Fortune-Telling
      • Guilt and Shame
      • Time Travel
    • Sleep Issues
    • Depression
    • Covid19
    • Suicide & Self-Harm
    • Wellness Tools
      • SMART – Self Management And Recovery Training
      • WRAP (Wellness Recovery Action Plan)
      • Change Triangle
  • Contact

“I Suffer From Depression.” Here’s What I Am Learning.

Turnaround
You are here: Home / Featured Home / Flashback Friday – Was I really like this?

Flashback Friday – Was I really like this?

October 18, 2019 by Depression Is Not My Boss 1 Comment

flasback friday to my early recovery from depression

I read a few of my early blog posts this morning.

Some of them I wrote just days after getting out of the hospital.

There is a lot of uncertainty in these early posts. I am feeling my way towards something, but I wasn’t sure what it was.

Check out this post I wrote 3 or 4 days after getting out of the hospital.

I wish I could sleep.

But what I did know, was where I had been was the scariest place on earth.

Being in the hospital was good. Being in my own mind was bad. Not knowing what was going to happen next, not understanding why I was so depressed, not seeing or facing my relationship with depression was incredibly painful.

Walking into the emergency room and saying, “I need help with my mental health” was excruciatingly painful. But doing what I had been doing for months, and expecting a different response was even more painful.

The morning I went to the hospital, I only saw three choices.

First, I could kill myself. Even just the idea makes me wince. I have not made my peace yet and am not ready to surrender my life, regardless of how shitty it appears to me when I am depressed. So, this option is never one I put any time into. Yet before I started taking Prozac, I was getting suicidal thoughts daily. Using mindfulness training, I would just see them, and then let them go.

Second, I could keep doing what I had been doing for 43 years and expect a different result. Now as I see it, that is the crazy option.  And yet I had chosen tat time after time after time. Then I was surprised when I got the same result. “I was surprised I got the same result!” If there was a time to use a label, this would be it.

This left choice number three, seek professional medical help.

Making that decision was one of the hardest things I have done in my life. Finally making a conscious decision to face whatever it was that was getting in the way of my life was what I opted for. And this decision has sent my life off in a whole new direction.

Using the tools, I have discovered, I have made significant progress in living with depression. I have discovered SMART recovery and WRAP, DBT skills and many other valuable tools to help me have a healthy, balanced life.

This blog has been my classroom, my homework, and my therapy. In combination with all the other resources I have assembled, medication, a therapist, a psychiatrist, my general practitioner, my peer advocates and the support of family and friends, I am changing my focus and my relationship with depression.

In a week, it will have been six months since my hospitalization.

I am excited to see where my life is going. The future looks more manageable as I live with depression, keeping it where I can always see it.

What’s changed for you in the past six months?

Read another of my earlier posts

Why did I make that decision?

Filed Under: Facts and myths about mental illness, Featured Home, Medication, SMART - Self Management And Recovery Training, Unhelpful thinking, WRAP (Wellness Recovery Action Plan) Tagged With: concealed depression, coping statements, coping strategies, DBT, depression, depression and anxiety, mental health, prozac, SMART Recovery, WRAP

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

I write My Concealed Depression to create Mental Health AwarenessHello, I am Joel. I have Major Depressive Disorder.  I am genuinely determined to figure out my personal relationship with depression. With 40+ years of living with concealed depression, I write my blog to find answers. 

I once got so carried away searching for answers that I even earned a  certification in  SMART Recovery. 

Get my latest posts, (your email is never sold or rented)

I developed a 38 Page Mental Health Tools Flipbook. Complete the Form and Get Your Free Copy Now.

Privacy Policy

Discover Self-Care, Coping Strategies, Understand Anxiety, Track your Triggers, Mood, and Sleep; Recap Therapy Sessions, and more.

https://myconcealeddepression.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/my-concealed-depression-intro.mp4
  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Pinterest

More to See

The startling truth about coping statements for anxiety and depression

The Startling Truth About Coping Statements For Anxiety and Depression

October 28, 2020 By Depression Is Not My Boss

My 101 Coping Strategies for Anxiety

My 101 Best Coping Statements For Anxiety and Depression

October 18, 2020 By Depression Is Not My Boss

Is my anxiety from not cleaning up completely from my trip to Africa?

Is My Anxiety Because I Am Still Unpacking from Africa?

January 28, 2023 By Depression Is Not My Boss

Am I Able to Be Happier, to Feel Joy?

January 24, 2023 By Depression Is Not My Boss

You Never Pay More, Yet Clicking These Links And Making a Purchase Helps Fund My Blog

PureFormulas.com-Pure Healthy Goodness, Highest-Grade Natural Supplements! Fast, Free Shipping!
Mosaic 250x250
Blog Meets Brand
Your Page Title

Footer

Contact

Email:  my.concealed.depression@gmail.com

Privacy Policy

Recent

  • If Only I Felt Happy, Maybe I Could Be Happy
  • Is My Anxiety Because I Am Still Unpacking from Africa?
  • Am I Able to Be Happier, to Feel Joy?
  • What Made Depression Almost Keep Me From Summiting Mt. Kilimanjaro?
  • 3 Years and 9 Months After Admitting Depression, I Can Say Merry Christmas

Search

© Copyright 2020 · My Concealed Depression · All Rights Reserved · Designed by The Marketing Momma