My Concealed Depression

My thoughts on my lifetime of Major Depressive Disorder with suicidal ideation.

depression and anxiety

Depression Wants Me to Keep Secrets Again

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Since I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder, I have learned just how secretive depression is. And I have learned many of the sneaky trick’s depression has used with me over the past 43+ years as it kept a hold over me. The craziest part about my relationship with depression is that it always makes me feel like I am in control. Worse, the ideas … [Read more...] about Depression Wants Me to Keep Secrets Again

Today I’m Feeling Like “What’s The Point?”

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My dog has a twenty-foot leash we attached to one of the front porch posts. This gives her access to a wide area of grass as we sit on the porch. And it keeps her from heading out over the mountain (which is where she got shot two years ago). She enjoys her time with us as we sit in the sun and watch birds at the feeders. But inevitably, she will wander up onto the porch … [Read more...] about Today I’m Feeling Like “What’s The Point?”

Self-care Lets Me Not Give a “Darn” About Others

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I’m pretty sure that word is not PC these days. But self-care is all the rage in support groups. I have written a lot about putting on my own oxygen mask first, before helping others. It makes sense when you look at it from a safe distance. Yet when I examine it up close and personal, my motives seem much less altruistic. My motives end up seeming … [Read more...] about Self-care Lets Me Not Give a “Darn” About Others

Three Things I Learned While Circling the Drain

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Most of December and the first two weeks of January were draining as depression was trying it’s best to pull me under. Had I not been through this same process less than a year ago, I am sure the outcome would have been the same. But this time, I had tools and a Wellness Recovery Action Plan that I had written out. I had thought about what it would look like if I was … [Read more...] about Three Things I Learned While Circling the Drain