• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • About
  • Mental Health Resources
    • Depression Resources
  • Blog
    • Coping
    • Medication
    • Self Care
    • Stress and Anxiety
    • Unhelpful thinking
      • Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda
      • Fortune-Telling
      • Guilt and Shame
      • Time Travel
    • Sleep Issues
    • Depression
    • Covid19
    • Suicide & Self-Harm
    • Wellness Tools
      • SMART – Self Management And Recovery Training
      • WRAP (Wellness Recovery Action Plan)
      • Change Triangle
  • Contact
  • SHOP

You are here: Home / Change Triangle / What a Terrible Thing to Say

What a Terrible Thing to Say

January 8, 2020 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

I can’t believe those were the first words out of my mouth.

The day had really ended well despite taking three hours to drive in the heavy, wet snow to work. It turns out the winter storm tracked east, at about the same speed as I was traveling east.

I kept thinking it was going to turn to rain, but that never happened. There were 15 accidents between my house and work.

So, I was a little nervous about the ride home at 10 PM.

Luckily, all the major roads had been plowed. Even our winding road from Route 33 was plowed and the steep hill by the Methodist Church had been sanded heavily. I was also excited to see my neighbor had gotten on his tractor and plowed our shared driveway. There are five families on our private road. Having a retired neighbor who enjoys plowing is a huge plus. Yes, I have taken him cookies more than once!

READ: Everybody wants me, but do I want myself?

When I arrived home late last night, there was a note from my therapist’s office.

He had a cold and had canceled today’s appointment. I was to call this morning to reschedule. That was a bit of a shock to me as I had been waiting several weeks for this appointment. He rescheduled the one before, then I had to change the date due to a work issue. And then came the holidays; Christmas and New Year’s.

I was really looking forward to catching up and sharing what I was up to.

I had made a list of concerns and questions to ask. I have been working on my inability to get started in the morning and was hopeful that exploring that with him would give me new insights.

READ: I stand up for what’s important to me

Plus, I have discovered new things about depression and its sneaky tendencies, and I wanted to share what I had learned. But instead of doing all that, which I had been thinking of for weeks, I am forced to reschedule.

“A cold, hell I’ve got a cold.”

That was it. My initial, automatic thought was about me. It wasn’t, “aw, I’m sorry he’s not feeling well, I hope he gets over it soon.” It wasn’t even, “Yeah there’s a lot of that going around right now.” It was “what the hell!”

I walked down the hall to my office and tossed my stuff onto the chair. There was no hanging up of my jacket in the hall closet, no putting my lunchbox in the cupboard, setting my water bottle in its place on the counter. I just piled everything in my office chair and headed to the kitchen to find something to eat.

I found a Tupperware bowl of hash browns which I microwaved and ate.

I probably really wasn’t hungry, but off I went to eat anyway. Then I began to re-think my initial reaction and I felt bad. My therapist has been so helpful to me and has opened my mind to many, many new ways of looking at things. I learned how to apply the change triangle and we have shared many of my past moments with depression.

It really wasn’t personal, but his news was not even remotely expected.

I had spent the drive home anticipating my appointment today, plus the chance to get to a SMART meeting this evening. I will still go into town for SMART. But now I am not seeing my therapist until the 23rd of this month. Rats!

At least I caught myself after a few minutes, but I feel bad that anger at him was my first reaction.

It’s not his fault he got sick; I know it is going around. He didn’t get sick just to make me feel bad. Knowing him, he most likely is mad at himself for being sick. I don’t begrudge him the chance to take care of himself and his cold.

I just wish my first automatic thought hadn’t painted me as the victim.

Filed Under: Change Triangle, Featured Home, Self Care, SMART - Self Management And Recovery Training, therapy Tagged With: Change Triangle, concealed depression, depression and anxiety, depression is not my boss, unhealthy thinking styles, Unhelpful thinking, unhelpful thinking styles

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

Joel Natl Career Fair Bio Pic he's using for my concealed depressionHello, I am Joel Quas 

In April 2019, I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder with suicidal ideation. By writing things out, I am learning more about my relationship with depression. 

Joel’s Next Book

The US has a a new 988 system that grabs location, not just area code.
https://myconcealeddepression.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/my-concealed-depression-intro.mp4
  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Pinterest

More to See

The startling truth about coping statements for anxiety and depression

The Startling Truth About Coping Statements For Anxiety and Depression

October 28, 2020 By Depression Is Not My Boss

My 101 Coping Strategies for Anxiety

My 101 Best Coping Statements For Anxiety and Depression

October 18, 2020 By Depression Is Not My Boss

Why I was Jack Strawcastle, Master Chimney Sweep while I had Depression

The Time When I Was Jack Strawcastle, Master Chimney Sweep

May 30, 2025 By Depression Is Not My Boss

Why Does JetBlue Keeps Pushing Back Our Return Flight?

May 6, 2025 By Depression Is Not My Boss

You Never Pay More, Yet Clicking These Links And Making a Purchase Helps Fund My Blog

PureFormulas.com-Pure Healthy Goodness, Highest-Grade Natural Supplements! Fast, Free Shipping!
Mosaic 250x250
Blog Meets Brand
Best Self Improvement & Personal Development Blogs - OnToplist.com
RSS Search

All my posts – Be careful, some of my older posts could be triggers

  • June 2025
  • May 2025
  • April 2025
  • March 2025
  • February 2025
  • January 2025
  • December 2024
  • November 2024
  • October 2024
  • September 2024
  • August 2024
  • July 2024
  • June 2024
  • May 2024
  • April 2024
  • March 2024
  • February 2024
  • January 2024
  • December 2023
  • November 2023
  • October 2023
  • September 2023
  • August 2023
  • July 2023
  • June 2023
  • May 2023
  • April 2023
  • March 2023
  • February 2023
  • January 2023
  • December 2022
  • November 2022
  • October 2022
  • September 2022
  • July 2022
  • June 2022
  • May 2022
  • April 2022
  • March 2022
  • February 2022
  • January 2022
  • December 2021
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • September 2021
  • August 2021
  • July 2021
  • June 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • February 2021
  • January 2021
  • December 2020
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019

Footer

Contact

Email:  my.concealed.depression@gmail.com

Privacy Policy

Recent

  • Why My Life Is Going Sideways
  • The Time When I Was Jack Strawcastle, Master Chimney Sweep
  • Why Does JetBlue Keeps Pushing Back Our Return Flight?
  • Why Was My Therapist Chuckling At What I Said?
  • Hurry Up And Wait

Search

Products

  • Evergreen is the story of my life with major depressive disorder. I write to learn more about my mental health Share The Journey As I Write My Next Book - draft "Evergreen"
  • The Six Second Cover Letter™ The Six Second Cover Letter™ $19.99 Original price was: $19.99.$0.00Current price is: $0.00.
  • 10 Page Gratitude Coloring Pages 10 Page Gratitude Coloring Pages $14.99
  • 5 gratitude coloring pages from my concealed depression to help reduce anxiety and depression Five - Gratitude Coloring Pages $9.99
  • The One Secret That Lands Your Dream Job[Course] The One Secret That Lands Your Dream Job[Course]

© Copyright 2020 · My Concealed Depression · All Rights Reserved · Designed by The Marketing Momma