What Are We Searching For in This Pandemic?

Mental health resources, suicide hotlines?

If you need help now, call a 24-hour crisis center at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) for free, private help or dial 911.

These are unnerving times. I know that the past few months have transformed my thinking about what is normal. Things I take for granted are now not available. All the local Chinese restaurants in my area have closed. They are not even offering take-out.

This extreme reaction is sad but understandable, seeing the ugly way people are treating folks.

And the list of things I have taken for granted goes on and on. Postponing and canceling events, including a bridal shower out of state. Being able to gather as a family is now not possible, nor is going to the movies. Not that we went that often, but not being able to go heightens the feeling of loss, even if losing the privilege of going is no big deal.

In the past week, many of my readers have been reviewing the resources tools, and links to mental health hotlines.

Self-quarantining is taking its toll on our mental and for some, our physical health. As an “essential worker” I am not living the hermit life. But this too, presents challenges. Many people do not yet understand the concept of “social distancing” and instead, vent their frustration at their new reality by yelling at me or my staff.

To an outsider, not trying to find toilet paper, limiting the number of shoppers in a store seems rational.

Yet many are not content to do what is right for everyone if it impacts their personal needs in any way. This has resulted in customers yelling, cursing threatening, and even pulling out the race card to intimidate my staff and get their way. I am angered by their lack of appreciation for all that my staff has been doing to provide a safe environment for them to get essential items for their families.

Resources are available if you want to learn more.

And hotlines are available, if you need to talk to someone. This works. Do not be afraid to reach out. I know that can be hard, just look at me. I spent 43 years NOT reaching out, ignoring my depression, not facing it and not getting professional help. This cost me dearly and has set me back many times from living a more balanced life.

Asking for professional help was the hardest thing I have done in my life.

Yet, now, almost a year later, I am alive and much closer to living a balanced life than at any time in my 64 years on this planet. And not a day goes by that I don’t thank myself for making the hard decision to get professional help. For one thing, it has given me powerful tools that I can use to foster my response to things I cannot control.

Events, such as COVID 19 will occur without my permission.

I cannot control a pandemic. BUT I can control my attitude towards it. I can control how I respond and what I let bother me. This is a formidable weapon against the virus for me. You may find me re-thinking that idea if I contract coronavirus, but for now, my mind is clear.

With only have so much energy to expend each day, I will not waste it on things I cannot control.

I say that with confidence today, but I am still changing a lifetime with depression that had me using many unhelpful thinking styles. I’ve shown I can fortune tell and time travel with the best of them. I minimize and catastrophize at a moment’s notice, and I need to be very careful or I will shoot down the “shoulda, woulda, coulda” path that leads me to the abyss.

READ MORE: Guess what happened when I changed my attitude

Had I not been hospitalized a year ago with Major Depressive Disorder, the pandemic would be much harder for me to cope with.

Not that it’s a cakewalk. I am following the CDC best practices, washing my hands frequently, and I have even begun wearing a non-surgical mask at work. Social distancing is my new best friend, and I have stopped pulling the cap off my Bic pen with my mouth.

If you need something, say something.

You do not need permission to ask for help. Do not feel that “I shouldn’t be asking.” That was my excuse for years in not seeking help for depression. The other excuse I used forever was “I do not deserve the help.” Boy was I wrong. But I still struggle with this and must remind myself, almost daily, that I am valuable, that I am enough, just as I am, and that I deserve to feel OK.

Hot lines are available for a reason.

If you need help now, call a 24-hour crisis center at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) for free, private help or dial 911.

Just because I took years to finally ask for help, doesn’t mean you must do the same. In fact, had I realized the benefits of asking for professional help sooner, I would have jumped on it. OK, my path did not go that way, I stalled, made excuses and dodged plenty of opportunities to get professional help.

I got away with hiding and not facing depression many times in 43 years.

So, for me, not facing it was my plan. And while I thought I was pulling it off, others did notice. Decisions I made impacted those I loved and have strained relationships needlessly. Had I had the “right stuff” I would have faced this sooner and not dodged it, hid it, and swept any left-over pieces under the rug to avoid detection.

Do not follow my example.

My life has played out in a certain way, but I could have made different choices.  You must look at what you are doing and decide for yourself if it is helpful. Are your decisions and is your attitude towards events moving you towards living a balanced life? I am finally headed in that direction.

READ MORE: New thinking is helping me achieve balance in my life

Balanced, not perfect, not crappy, not repetitive and dull, but balanced.

So, make the call or pull up the webpage. You get to choose how you react and frame the events of the day. You can control how your attitude towards the pandemic. And I know you will.

My concealed depression is written under the alias “Depression is not my boss.” I have certifications in SMART Recovery and am a Global Career Development Facilitator.

Last year, I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder.

If you know someone who might benefit from reading this, please share. And your comments are always appreciated.