Photo by Nico Smit on Unsplash My depression has exclusivity in my life. Try as I might to invite others in to share my life, in the end, I find ways to stay distant. Even when I initiate the friendship or professional relationship, in the end, I find ways to stay distant from them. And even when I stay involved, my depression is still working to keep me separate from … [Read more...] about Why Won’t Depression Let Professional Help In?
On Our Own, C'Ville
If I weren't still dragging around the fear of what they might say, I would openly use my 500th blog post to email this letter to my friends and family. Dear Friend, I suffer from depression. (1) My life with depression started before I was 19, and depression has been a factor in most of my life’s decisions, both small and large. I do not say this to excuse my … [Read more...] about Stigma Has Kept Me From “Coming Out” With My Depression
I wrote it almost three years ago and hoped I’d never need it. However, I am darn glad I did. Creating it was a big part of one specific weekly session I attended at On Our Own. There was a workbook each of us was given during the first meeting of the group. The leader went through a section of the workbook during each session. The class size was as small as four some … [Read more...] about I Pulled Out My Early Warning Action Plan this morning
Thirty-three months ago, I returned home after spending four days in 5 East. I was a mess, pure and simple. My diagnosis was Major Depressive Disorder, with suicidal ideation. Heck, just the name sounded like a gigantic problem. My depression left me with no ambition except to make it to the end of the day. My goal then was to make it until dark. Then I could reward myself … [Read more...] about Depression Is Not My Boss (Day 1 revisited)
Before I began learning about how depression works, all I knew were my spectacular crashes. As I thought back on my life, I could clearly see four major episodes that my depression exacerbated. These were times when I was circling the drain, was up against the wall, and could not see any way forward. To an outsider, I can only imagine how that must have looked. But for … [Read more...] about My Depression Operates in The Smallest Spaces