I don’t understand why things seem so hard right now.
Once again, I am so close to the finish line, but I cannot get past it. I can see the end from here. I know
what it would feel like, how it would smell. Heck, I even know what it would taste like. But I am stuck
here, twiddling my thumbs, as I wait for something to happen.
Having been in a holding pattern for a while, I’m unsure what I am waiting for.
I know it is a key piece of my decision to retire. Ok, the first time I retired lasted 14 months and
landed me in the hospital. After 4 days in 5 North, I was out. But I was armed with many tools,
many of which I did not know existed. Plus, I saw people in a different light.
This gave me the chance to build a support system that is still working almost 6 years later
I found out that we often do not see things right in front of us. This includes people and the
resources that they bring to the table. For example, until my time at 5 North, I did not know that On Our
Own even existed. It never occurred to me that I would still have a peer advocate checking in on me
once a week.
I do not and have never paid her for the time she spends with me on the phone each week.
She is never judgmental. If I cannot answer the phone, I know I can call her back later. Later, if I cannot
call her back, I don’t. But I know that she will try again, and we always connect/ Ok, once or twice in 6
years I have been with grandchildren and have not taken the call from her. But I am quick to text an
update and include a current picture of one of the grandchildren.
It’s amazing how young they can make you feel.
In fact, my grandchildren are one of the main reasons I have been keeping up my gym membership. Ok,
so some of it has to do with my trekking. When I summited Mount Kilimanjaro in Africa, balance and endurance were very important component. When I trekked the Inca trail to Machu Pichu in Peru, I had slowed down my gym time. And while I was able to complete the trek without embarrassing myself.
I know I wasn’t in the best of shape.
With only 177 more days until we head for Nepal, I am back on the stair master regularly.
The goal of this trek is to see Mount Everest’s base camp. In Africa, we slept in tents. In Nepal, we will
sleep in Sherpa Tea huts. Some YouTube videos of the trek indicate that we may have American
toilets for most of the trek. I have learned much about the trek, along with tips and tricks. I have an idea
of what will work and what won’t.
Of course, having trekked in Africa, Peru, and last fall, the Grand Canyon, I feel better about what to take
along.
But each trek is different. However, I brought a book I thought I would have time to read on Kili. I never cracked the cover. In
Peru, we actually had one late afternoon where playing cards would have been just the thing. And I did not bring them. This time, I will be sure to pack them, for I am learning that each trekking experience is unique.
Yes, all have similar challenges, such as keeping body parts clean.
But the list of what to pack, after the basics, is unique to each trek. Or that is what I am discovering. The
weight of even two decks of cards in less than ½ a pound out of thirty I am allowed. The trek has an
acclimatization day built in, where we will do a day a high day hike but sleep in the same tea hut that
night.
So, hurry up and wait will need to hurry up and wait.
When things feel like they are preparing to Hurry up and wait, I always think of my uncle. He told the
story of his platoon in line at the mess hall to get their steak before leaving for America. Before they
could get their steaks, a call on the PA had them move to the pier for immediate loading.
While his fellow GI’s ran to the dock, my Uncle ordered his steak, sat down with it, and ate it.
Then, he strolled down to the pier where his platoon was still waiting to board.
In fact, they would wait almost an additional hour before boarding the ship for the USA. While I don’t picture my Uncle saying, “I
told you,” this was a time when it would have proved true.
