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Green apples with smiley faces symbolizing concealed depression.

My Concealed Depression

You are here: Home / Featured Home / I Changed My Life With Depression — Here’s the Part No One Tells You”

I Changed My Life With Depression — Here’s the Part No One Tells You”

October 11, 2025 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Woman with smudged makeup holding a paper with a drawn smile over her mouth.

We talk about depression like it’s one thing with one simple cause.

I have always thought of it that way. But the truth is, depression is rarely that simple. It’s not just “being sad” or “having a bad day.” It is constantly a part of me, and doesn’t go on vacation, as I previously assumed.

Depression is a real, multi-layered condition shaped by what’s happening in your brain, your body, your environment, and your personal story.

 Am not sure I can do the subject justice, but I will try. If you’ve ever wondered “Why do I feel like this?” — or want to better understand someone who’s struggling — here’s a clear explanation of the most common causes of depression, minus the jargon.


🧠 1. Brain Chemistry & Biology

Your brain uses chemical messengers like serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine to regulate mood, focus, and motivation.

When these messengers get out of balance — because of genetics, trauma, chronic illness, or long-term stress — your ability to regulate emotions can shift. You might lose interest in things you once loved, feel foggy, or emotionally flat.

👉 Key idea: You can’t “snap out of” depression. Brain chemistry isn’t a mindset issue; it’s a real physiological factor. I learned this in 1977. Remind me later, and I will share that story with you.


🌍 2. Life Events & Stress

Stress and depression are closely linked. Big life events — a breakup, job losses, grief, or even major positive changes — can push your system into overdrive.

Chronic stress floods your body with cortisol, which, over time, wears you down emotionally and physically. This is why depression often shows up after months of “just pushing through. “This is why my blog is named My Concealed Depression.

👉 Key idea: Stress doesn’t just affect your mind; it shapes your entire emotional landscape. And I know this is true because I have lived it. Not in an abstract way, but as someone who was up against the wall, with no perceived way forward.


💭 3. Thought Patterns & Inner Narratives

Many people who live with depression experience relentless internal loops:

  • “I should be doing better.”
  • “Nothing I do matters.”
  • “Why bother?”

These thought patterns deepen depression by amplifying guilt, shame, and hopelessness. They don’t cause depression alone, but they can make it stick around longer. I thought that I was being more positive in my thinking, but the truth is, I exhibited and still exhibit internal loops. The only difference is that I now see them (at some point), even if I cannot stop them yet.

Therapies like CBT help interrupt these loops and rebuild more balanced internal narratives.

👉 Key idea: The stories we tell ourselves can either trap us or help us heal. I am a wonderful time traveler. I can make up stories without ever talking to the parties involved. It makes the entire process easier, and I don’t need to speak with anyone.


🤝 4. Social & Environmental Factors

Humans need connection and safety. Loneliness, discrimination, financial strain, or burnout can erode mental health over time.

Even if your brain chemistry is fine, a harsh or isolating environment can make depression more likely. Think of it like emotional erosion — slow, steady, and real. When my depression and I decided to throw out 40 years of planning and reitre earky, it left me with no plan. This, I am sure, contributed to my ending up in 5 East..

👉 Key idea: The world you live in shapes how you feel more than most people realize.


🧍 5. Physical Health & Lifestyle

Depression isn’t just “in your head.” I thought that I was hiding my depression, but one person began checking the obituaries after I fell off the grid. It seems my hidden depression was sometimes only true in my mind. Your physical health. affects your mental health:

  • Poor sleep can intensify mood swings.
  • Chronic illness can drain energy and motivation.
  • Poor nutrition can worsen low mood and fatigue.
  • Lack of movement can make emotional heaviness linger.

This doesn’t mean “just exercise and eat better” will cure depression — but caring for your body supports recovery. I beleive that I am doing better now. I eat cleaner, go to the gym, and am in bed for 8 hours of rest, sometimes even sleep.

👉 Key idea: When the body struggles, the mind often follows.


🧬 6. Genetics & Family History

If depression runs in your family, you might be biologically more vulnerable. This doesn’t mean it’s guaranteed — it just means your stress tolerance may be lower. Many of my family members, Mom, Aunts and Uncles all had nerves. I pretended not to know what that meant.

Knowing your risk can help you catch symptoms early and build protective habits.

👉 Key idea: Genetics aren’t destiny, but they matter. In my case, it mattered.


🌸 7. Hormonal & Life-Stage Factors

Hormonal changes can act as powerful triggers for depression. This includes:

  • Postpartum depression
  • Perimenopause or menopause
  • Thyroid imbalances
  • Seasonal changes

For many people, these shifts are temporary; for others, medical support is essential. Either way, it’s not weakness — it’s biology at work. I can identify with seasonal changes and my using a SAD lamp. And I know about postpartum depression within my family.

👉 Key idea: Hormonal shifts can influence mood more than many people realize.


💥 8. Trauma & Early Life Experiences

Childhood trauma, abuse, or unstable environments can shape how the brain responds to stress later in life. This can increase vulnerability to depression in adulthood. This is an area that I don’t know much about. I am sure things happened that were unstable, but I was to busy with my model rockets to notice.

But it’s not a life sentence. With therapy, support, and time, those old wounds can be healed.

👉 Key idea: Past experiences can shape present emotions — but they don’t have to define your future.


☕ 9. Substance Use & Self-Medication

It’s common for people to use alcohol or other substances to take the edge off. But these quick fixes often deepen the lows over time. I drank a bit, but stopped after playing golf with a sherrif friend and then going to his Lieutenants’ house for a drink. After I got home, I remember hugging the porcelain idol in the bathroom for hours.

I haven’t done that again, (circa 1986) Alcohol, for example, is a depressant. It may numb pain briefly, but it often makes mood swings worse.

👉 Key idea: Coping isn’t the same as healing. (I completly understand that)


🌦️ 10. Seasonal & Sleep Rhythm Disruptions

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is real. Less sunlight and disrupted sleep cycles can throw off your circadian rhythm, which affects mood regulation. Two years ago, I was very good at using my SAD lamp. I believe I got a lot of value from it. Last year, I used it twice and never got into the habit. But there’s this year!

Getting light exposure, keeping regular sleep, or using light therapy can help many people who experience seasonal depression.

👉 Key idea: Light and sleep aren’t luxuries — they’re mood regulators.


🧭 11. Purpose & Meaning

This one is quieter but powerful. When people feel disconnected from purpose — work, community, relationships, or a sense of meaning — depression can slip in. OK, my depression and deciding I should retire early disconnected me from having a purpose. And this led to my time at 5 East.

It doesn’t mean you need to “find your passion” overnight. Small steps that reconnect you to something that matters can build resilience. Sticking to my retirement plan would have been more rewarding and may have kept me out of 5 East. Of course, now I am getting into, coulda, woulda, shoulda.

👉 Key idea: Meaning is medicine.


🔹 Why It’s Rarely Just One Cause

Depression is rarely the result of a single factor. More often, it’s layers — biology, environment, habits, trauma, and thought patterns all intersecting. This could be what happened to me. More later.

That’s why treatment isn’t one-size-fits-all. What works for one person may not work for another. Sometimes it’s therapy. And Sometimes it’s medication. Sometimes it’s changing your environment, building structure, or finding support.

👉 Key idea: Understanding your personal mix is the first step toward real help.


🌿 A Final Thought: It’s Real — and Treatable

Depression isn’t a flaw or a sign of weakness. It’s a complex condition that affects millions of people. Depression many times still comes with stigma. And sadly, that makes it different than a broken arm. People with broken arms go to the doctor. It’s the thing to do. People with depression, or any mental illness, very often do not seek medical attention because of what “they might say.”

And while it can feel permanent when you’re in it, it isn’t. With the right support — therapy, medical care, lifestyle shifts, community — recovery is absolutely possible. 6 and ½ years after 5 East, I find days where my depression is not around (or so I think)

If you’re struggling, reaching out isn’t giving up. It’s taking back control.


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  • Causes of Depression
  • Why Depression Happens
  • Depression and Stress
  • Mental Health Awareness
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  • Hormonal Changes and Depression
  • Genetics and Depression

Filed Under: Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Coping Statements for Depression, Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda, Depression, Facts and myths about mental illness, Featured Home, Time Travel, Unhelpful thinking Tagged With: concealed depression, definition of depression, facts about depression, mental health, mental health awareness

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Joel Natl Career Fair Bio Pic he's using for my concealed depressionHello, I am Joel Quas 

In April 2019, I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder with suicidal ideation. By writing things out, I am learning more about my relationship with depression. 

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