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“I Suffer From Depression.” Here’s What I Am Learning.

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You are here: Home / What depression has cost me / Now I’m keeping score

Now I’m keeping score

May 20, 2019 by Depression Is Not My Boss 1 Comment

Well, maybe its more of a written record.

The best way to create new thought patterns and new behaviors is to practice them. And I found a three-page checklist that will remind me to use my new skills.

Taking the time to acknowledge my thoughts, feelings, and actions is a big step.

I found a list of emotions. Printing this out, I am better able to describe them. Separating out the difference between an emotion and a feeling is going to take some work. Here’s what I found about that in a Google search:

  • ‘Emotions are event-driven, while feelings are learned behaviors that are usually in hibernation until triggered by an external event. Unlike happiness for example (a feeling), joy (an emotion) involves little cognitive awareness—we feel good without consciously deciding to—and it’s longer lasting.’

The tool I will use is a Weekly Regulator Log sheet.

That sounds intimidating. But the goal is to help me practice the skills I am learning. Using this will remind me to notice my physical and cognitive vulnerability. It also gives me a place to log when I am watching and accepting emotions, and when and how I cope with emotions. The final page has three lines for each day.

I am supposed to write down positive events that I notice each day.

This should be the easiest page to fill out, but I know, at first, it will take focus. The past few months have left me seeing the wall, the blocks, not the good stuff. Getting my mind focused on that again will be helpful and make me proud (that’s an emotion).

In order to clearly document my day, I spent the past hour going back through the workbook to understand exactly what each section wanted me to record. If I pencil whip the form, I won’t get any benefit from it. My goal is to get better, not just to check each box.

My depression wanted me to skip clarifying the purpose of each section.

It wanted me to blindly rush forward, without thinking, getting back into the old habits that gave my depression such a stranglehold on my judgment. But I was already on it. I am taking the lead away from my unhelpful thinking and going after what I need to be stronger.

I am unsure how this log sheet will work. But I am confident, hopeful, thrilled, and excited that I am taking this step.

Don’t miss my future report on how this works. Join my email list. You’ll be the first to know what comes out of my mind.

Filed Under: What depression has cost me Tagged With: anxiety, checklist, concerns, coping strategies, DBT, depression, depression treatment, gloom, grace, hope, life, lifestyle, mental health, worries, worry

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I write My Concealed Depression to create Mental Health AwarenessHello, I am Joel. I have Major Depressive Disorder.  I am genuinely determined to figure out my personal relationship with depression. With 40+ years of living with concealed depression, I write my blog to find answers. 

I once got so carried away searching for answers that I even earned a  certification in  SMART Recovery. 

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