Concealed depression has been my life. I have racked up 43+ years of hiding my depression, even from myself. This has led me to jump through hoops and do all kinds of crazy shenanigans to keep it hidden. From ignoring it to justifying it by using an unhelpful thinking style, I have lived with depression for my entire adult life. It turns out, my way of dealing with … [Read more...] about Five Names For My Depression
SMART Recovery
There are still doors my keys do not open
The problem is not all or nothing. Although it feels like that when I am stuck, immobile and indecisive. Once the day gets going, I am better equipped to use the tools I have learned to meet and defeat problems as they come my way. Between SMART Recovery, WRAP training, Peer Support at On Our Own, meetings with my therapist and psychiatrist, I have learned so much about … [Read more...] about There are still doors my keys do not open
Three Things I Learned While Circling the Drain
Most of December and the first two weeks of January were draining as depression was trying it’s best to pull me under. Had I not been through this same process less than a year ago, I am sure the outcome would have been the same. But this time, I had tools and a Wellness Recovery Action Plan that I had written out. I had thought about what it would look like if I was … [Read more...] about Three Things I Learned While Circling the Drain
My “picker” is Not Working Right Now
That was the coolest thing I had heard all day. My “picker†is not working. Someone had to explain it to me, as I was only partially sure I understood what the term meant. It turns out the reference is about “choosing a partner.†In the context of substance abuse or recovery, this partner may be an enabler, or … [Read more...] about My “picker” is Not Working Right Now
“I Know That’s Going to Leave a Mark”
The last year of this decade was overly complicated, frightening and dramatic. It started off in January of 2019 with waking up not being able to breath. It wasn’t that there was no air, it was as if someone had taken the life-giving oxygen out of the air that I was breathing in. I would need to get up and walk around for a bit to clear it out and … [Read more...] about “I Know That’s Going to Leave a Mark”
