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“I Suffer From Depression.” Here’s What I Am Learning.

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You are here: Home / Coping Statements for Anxiety / Will I Be Less Anxious Today?

Will I Be Less Anxious Today?

September 10, 2021 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Do I really have anxiety and is it obsessive?
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Trying to measure my anxiety may make me anxious.

Understanding how I am feeling today is not a bad thing. Then looking at the answer compared to how I was feeling five days ago can be helpful. I can judge by this quick exercise whether the new medicine is working.

This morning, I am leaning towards “less anxious.”

Now I still have a list of things to do today. I have a virtual board meeting at 10 AM. Between today and tomorrow, I plan to finish staining the deck. The weather is going to be dry and comfortable, and I want to take advantage of the conditions.

As I sit here on the porch having my coffee, I wonder what anxiety really is.

A quick Google search reveals:

anx·i·e·ty

/aNGˈzīədē/

noun

a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.

“He felt a surge of anxiety”

PSYCHIATRY

a nervous disorder characterized by a state of excessive uneasiness and apprehension, typically with compulsive behavior or panic attacks.

Excessive uneasiness and apprehension can be me.

It has been a shock to learn that I exhibit this behavior. I know everyone, including me, is anxious about things. Starting a new job, losing a job, or even a promotion at work can make a person anxious. Not knowing what is coming next can make a person nervous. Once the event has happened the anxiety almost always decreases and a sense of normal returns.

But spending each day with an underlying feeling of uncertainty and apprehension is not normal.

I want to say I have never had a panic attack, but that is not true. 22 months ago, as Christmas approached, I found myself waking up at night not being able to breathe. It was as if there was no air in the air. I couldn’t catch my breath. I would have to get up and move around, and slowly the feeling would subside. Only then could I return to bed.

These panic attacks lasted for several weeks and scared the heck out of me.

Outside of that experience, I can generally get my butterflies to fly in formation. I never thought of myself as a nervous or anxious person. So I am still processing that. I can see depression and my relationship with it. But anxiety was for other people, not me.

Well, I am burning daylight and I am anxious to get started staining the deck.

Now that’s a good way to use anxiety. I will continue to work on my relationship with anxiety. Perhaps I will discuss it with my therapist when we talk in a few days. He always gets me to think about things in a way that helps me understand.

So, for now, I have depression and anxiety, but depression and anxiety do not have me.

Filed Under: Coping Statements for Anxiety, Depression, Facts and myths about mental illness, Featured Home, Mental Health, Unhelpful thinking Tagged With: anxiety, anxiety treatment, coping statements for anxiety, depression and anxiety, depression is not my boss, High-functioning Anxiety, mental health, mental health awareness, stress and anxiety

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I write My Concealed Depression to create Mental Health AwarenessHello, I am Joel. I have Major Depressive Disorder.  I am genuinely determined to figure out my personal relationship with depression. With 40+ years of living with concealed depression, I write my blog to find answers. 

I once got so carried away searching for answers that I even earned a  certification in  SMART Recovery. 

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