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“I Suffer From Depression.” Here’s What I Am Learning.

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You are here: Home / Featured Home / Knowing What to Do and Doing it Are Two Different Things

Knowing What to Do and Doing it Are Two Different Things

July 5, 2020 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Knowing I should ask better questions is not the same as using better questionsn to challenge unhelpful thinking

It was the 4th of July yesterday and I got distracted.

I have an alarm set on my phone to bring in the birdfeeders around dusk. This removes them from harm before the bears come by.

Well, between going to my sisters for a picnic supper (outside with mostly social distancing) and setting off a few fireworks when back at home, I forgot to bring in the bird feeders.

The bears certainly did not forget to swing by and check up on me.

My night vision cameras have recorded bears several times this year on the front porch, heading to our trash cans. Having invested in a Bearinator, steel-reinforced trash can, the bears can no longer open it. But that doesn’t mean they won’t try.

Last night, they ravaged the bird feeders.

READ: The Bear Came Back Last Night

Once again, I can go down the coulda, woulda, shoulda, path about forgetting to bring them in. Or I can take it as a learning experience and review alternate ways to control access to the birdfeeders. Not having feeders in the front yard from April Fools Day until Thanksgiving is one idea I am considering. I do have a feeder on the back deck for the smaller birds, plus several hummingbird feeders.

Another possibility I have considered is suspending the feeders between the two trees in the front yard.

Positioned high enough the bears couldn’t reach them, I would only need to figure out a way to keep the squirrels off them. Squirrels have overcome every obstacle I have put in their path so far. My depression could have descended from the squirrel family.

Using my 13 questions to challenge unhelpful thinking styles is still a work in progress for me.

Sometimes I do it almost without thinking. Other times, I skip right over questioning the logic of a situation and I go straight to some sort of unhelpful thinking. Being more consistent in using this life protecting tool is my goal. When I am not, catastrophizing, all, or nothing thinking, and fortune-telling are still my go-to unhelpful thinking styles.

It seems that I am not doing as much time traveling these days.

I count that as a success. I could spend days being stuck in the past or the future, without a clue as to what was happening at the moment. Now I am much more in the moment, each day. Yes, I am still working on that, but I am excited to have those NOW moments.

The bears called me out last night, much as depression does.

I knew what to do but didn’t do it. Whether it is bringing in the bird feeders or asking better questions to challenge unhelpful thinking, I realize I must keep working on this.

My concealed depression is written under the alias “Depression is not my boss.” I have certifications in SMART Recovery and am a Global Career Development Facilitator.

Diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder last year, I am sharing what I learn. If you know someone who might benefit from reading this, please share. 

I very much appreciate your comments.

Filed Under: Featured Home, My life goes on, The cost of success, Unhelpful thinking, What depression has cost me Tagged With: Bird Feeders, depression, depression and anxiety, Depression Busting, depression is not my boss, do not feed the bears, High-functioning Anxiety, unhealthy thinking styles, Unhelpful thinking, unhelpful thinking styles

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I write My Concealed Depression to create Mental Health AwarenessHello, I am Joel. I have Major Depressive Disorder.  I am genuinely determined to figure out my personal relationship with depression. With 40+ years of living with concealed depression, I write my blog to find answers. 

I once got so carried away searching for answers that I even earned a  certification in  SMART Recovery. 

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