originally posted July 16, 2019
In one of the counsel sessions I attended recently, someone said that.
Their personal life’s story was one of focusing on the present. And to some extent the future, with very little time spent on the past.
I thought this was a great way to live.
There are so many ways of saying this, but when he talked about the view from the driver’s seat of a car, he got my attention.
I’ve heard the quote, “When one door closes another opens, but people spend so much time looking at the door that closed, they never see the new one that opens.” I’m sure there are many more ways to say it.
I have been guilty of looking back. Yes, you can study the past, so you don’t make the same mistakes. You can learn from the mistakes of others, and stand on the shoulders of giants to see even further into the future.
But somewhere in all this reflection about and learning from the past, you must still live in the present.
People, in general, have a hard time doing that. They are looking back or longing for something they don’t have yet. Once they get that, then things will be ok. Or if only I hadn’t done that in the past, then everything would be ok.
When I get caught up in this type of unhelpful thinking, it can pull me under. I can get fixated on an event and replay it over and over in my mind. This never changes what happened. You would think I would know that by now.
I spend so much time cogitating on “what was” and “what could have,” that I never get around to ‘what’s now.”
One of the best things I have realized since I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder is that slowing things down can be calming. Working in the yard, stopping and smelling the roses, and reading a book, are all things I enjoy and when I am depressed, I do not have the energy or desire to do them.
All my energy is spent looking in the rearview mirror.
I don’t even look at the windshield enough to keep from running into things when I’m driving. I’m smashing into a fence post and telephone poles, side-swiping cars, driving up on the sidewalk, and swerving like crazy to keep myself on the road. When you’re looking backward most of the time, there is little time to avoid obstacles in the road, you are on them before you even see them.
When I smash things up badly, it finally gets my attention. You know, the left tire is flat, there is a section of the passenger fender missing, there are major cracks in the windshield and both side mirrors are hanging by the metal wire that is used to adjust them when everything is hooked up.
Luckily, I have found a great repair shop.
With the name “We Do Depression Right,” you’ve got to believe this repair shop knows how to fix things. They buy Bondo in 55-gallon drums and keep every spare part known to man in a warehouse on the property. If you broke it, they can fix it. They aren’t always fast, but eventually, you leave with a smile. I’ve been going to them for over 40 years to keep myself running.
The problem with this shop is what they ask for in payment.
They say “Don’t worry about it now, your credit is good with us. We’ll let you know later.” And you drive away thinking you’ve got this licked. And when the bill finally comes, you are even further down the rabbit hole, you are looking at an even smaller rear-view mirror, and the cost of your last repair is just a fraction of what you are going to pay this time.
Why is it that I can’t just look through this great big beautiful, freshly cleaned windshield?
Am I trying to drive forward while looking backward? Why is the tiny little rearview mirror so much more attractive than the big, expansive, clear front windshield? I am finding out that there are other options than what I’ve been doing all these years. You won’t believe what happened.
I’ve discovered a new repair shop.
I have finally realized I have been paying way too much for repairs. I’ve been paying an arm and a leg for things that are not that expensive when done by a professional. My old repair shop was a familiar place to go, but I always felt funny that I was the only one in the shop. If they were so good at fixing me up, why weren’t other people using the same shop?
And why was I always encouraged to keep the shop a secret, to not share the details of how “We Do Depression Right” was making repairs on me?
Now that I have a new repair shop, I can see there were many choices all along. There are many repair shops with professionally trained technicians. Those who can help in making repairs that will keep you looking out the big front window.
I am confident that my new shop “Depression Is Not My Boss” will be better equipped to help me with repairs going forward. They specialize in WRAP and have a whole SMART team. With all the latest tools, they have given me a new sense of confidence.
Can’t see out of your big windshield? Are you, like I was, smashing into things?
Then check out my new repair center. They are glad to have the business, happy to have me talk about and share their value. They expect that I will talk about the positive experience. And the cost is so much less than I was paying at my old shop.
I’m back on the road and haven’t hit anything but a couple of potholes since I’ve been working with my new garage. The windshield is big and clear, and I am enjoying looking forward.
