“If overthinking were an Olympic sport, I’d have a gold medal and my own Wheaties box.”
Here are 10 common unhelpful thinking styles (Link to my original post of May 3rd, 2019) that can quietly feed anxiety, depression, and self-doubt. These aren’t signs of weakness—they’re patterns the brain learns to protect you. But left unchecked, they can distort how you see yourself and the world.
1. All-or-Nothing Thinking
Seeing things in extremes—either perfect success or total failure.
“If I don’t get the job, I’m worthless.”
All or Nothing thinking is an area of unhelpful thinking I know very well. Until recently, I never thought of it as a pattern my brain learned to protect me. That sounds like something that my therapist would say. She is working on reminding me that I need to be less strict with myself. I used to make it all about me, but not in a worthless way.
It was more like deciding about something, without hearing others’ opinions.
It was and is still a lot like time traveling into the future. I, sometimes with depression’s help, will write the outcome without ever speaking to anyone. This makes it easy to conclude that I am right and everyone else is wrong.
These days, I often see this happening before I act on it, or within a day or two of doing it.
I’m told that recognizing I am engaging in all-or-nothing thinking is the first step. Even as I get better at seeing this, I am by no means perfect. I view these unhelpful thinking styles as work to be done. A way to correct earlier issues I’m sure that’s not the best way to look at them, but I am working on that, too.
2. Overgeneralization
Taking one bad experience and assuming it will always happen.
“I messed up this interview, so I’ll probably bomb the next one too.”
I am told that I do this all the time. I project my idea of right and wrong onto myself, and assume the worst. “You never… or you always…” are words that tell me I am overgeneralizing. While I am not able to give an example right now, I know that I can be counted on to always assume the worst. Or is it the best, and I am always too trusting?
Either way, I need to work on this.
3. Mental Filter
Focusing only on the negative and ignoring the positive.
“They complimented my skills… but all I heard was the one critique.”
I may be doing pretty well with this unhelpful thinking style. I am more of a glass half full kind of guy. But a case can be made for me being way too positive. I am the guy who trusts others until they cannot be trusted. Yes, I have been burned by this, but I feel that it has worked for me more than the reverse ever could.
4. Discounting the Positive
Dismissing good things as flukes or not counting them at all.
“I got lucky,” instead of “I did that well.”
You would think that a glass-half-full kind of guy would do well with this unhelpful thinking style.
But truth be told, I have always downplayed my accomplishments. Even milestones like major promotions, I have always thought of as “just doing my job.” Finally getting my bachelor’s degree was another occasion where I downplayed the situation and thought of it, especially to myself, as no big deal.
This was even after two 4.0 semesters in my senior year.
5. Jumping to Conclusions
Assuming you know what others think or predicting the future without evidence.
Mind reading: “They probably think I’m not qualified.”
Fortune telling: “I’ll never get this job anyway.”
I could have been a mind reader on Coney Island. Sadly, I am not necessarily thinking of this as a bad thing. I cannot tell you how many times I have let my depression talk me into something. The biggest thing in the past 7 years was the decision to retire early. After mind reading the entire audience, I only saw my depression as one who had my best interests at heart.
And I have known what others think without ever needing to talk to them. Not only is this faster than actually speaking with people, but it cuts out any competing ideas. Again, I spoke with my family about retiring early, but I only did that once. At that point, my depression pulled the secrecy clause, and I was on my way.
6. Magnification and Minimization
Blowing mistakes way out of proportion—or downplaying your strengths.
“I made a tiny error, so the whole project is ruined.”
I remember seeing mistakes in the rear-view mirror. They seemed so big and so consuming. And things like promotions at work, and my college graduation, I downplay as no big deal. It’s about others and their needs. I am still learning how to say NO and mean it. It’s an unhelpful thinking style that I do not use as often as others.
7. Emotional Reasoning
Believing that feeling something makes it true.
“I feel useless, so I must be useless.”
Here’s another unhelpful thinking style that I have used. Mostly, it’s an afterthought, but it is true all the same. My feelings are still a work in progress. So having feelings is a big deal. Having something be true especially because I feel it can reinforce the wrong idea. I had anxiety attacks over Christmas, the winter before 5 East. Instead of seeing this as a sign I needed help, I did the opposite and ignored it altogether. After two weeks, it stopped.
I don’t think I know enough about this one yet.
8. “Should” Statements
Putting pressure on yourself with rigid rules.
“I should have everything figured out by now.”
These statements often create guilt or shame instead of motivation. For most of my life, I was shoulding all over myself almost daily. Leaping into the past, I would spend hours coulda, woulda, shouldaing. This was always directed towards something that had passed, that I could not take back or change. Yet there I was.
9. Labeling
Turning mistakes into identity statements.
“I failed that test” becomes “I’m a failure.”
For years, I have been aware of self-talk. I have made it a point not to use labeling. My identity has not been shaped by events, and I have been very careful NOT to label myself as anything negative. I’m certain there are times I still do it, but of the 10, this is by far the one I think the least about.
10. Time Travel (Past & Future Thinking)
Replaying the past or catastrophizing the future instead of staying in the present.
Past: “Why did I do that? I can’t believe I messed up.”
Future: “What if everything goes wrong tomorrow?”
I know this unhelpful thinking style probably better than any of them. I know it as time travel. I used to spend hours at a time shoulding all over myself. Coulda, woulda, shoulda is my catch phrase. I used to spend so much time reliving the past that it seemed like I lived there. This was not good. Yes I could have made different decisions, but I am finally learning that the past is the past.
And I spent almost as much time worrying about the future. When I set my mind on a goal, I always achieve it. Yet, I did not think about the next step after achieving the goal. I always think about the dog that chased cars for years. One day, he actually bit a tire. Now What? The dog never thought about it.
👉 Your brain can’t solve problems that haven’t happened—or change what’s already done.
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✅ Why this matters:
Naming these thinking styles gives you power over them. For most of my life, I never used the word depression. And after my time in 5 East, I have learned so much about my depression. At first, my blog was written as Depression Is Not My Boss. And I did not have my picture on my blog. Eventually, I added my first name, then my entire name. Then I changed Joel to Joel Quass, along with a photo.
These changes only took 6 years, and I still worry about the stigma my diagnosis can trigger.
Once you can identify a pattern, you can challenge it, reframe it, or let it go—rather than letting it quietly shape your mood or decisions.
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