I’m Writing A List Of Things That Are True About Me

Colin + Meg Unsplash

I am going very slowly working with this idea.

Creating a list of things that are true about me is not easy. While I am beginning to think of more substantial things, I am still using things like “I enjoy a cup of coffee in the morning” as a fallback.

I suppose it narrows down who I am in some way, but it seems like a cheap item to list. My gut is telling me that I can think of the things that make me unique. In this week’s therapy session, my therapist pointed out four or five things that are true about me. She did this as we were talking. I should have written them down. All I wrote down was the question, without any of the answers she pointed out.

Now I am unsure where I put the paper with the question scribbled on it.

While I may be thinking about what she was saying, I could easily be making a list that has nothing to do with the question. I cleaned out any scraps of paper I found when I took our trash and recycling to the landfill today. I hope the question was not written on paper which I tossed.

I’m quite sure this is the question: Can you write down a list of things that are true about you?

Here is the list I have created about things that are true about me.

• I like a cup of black coffee every morning
•  I enjoy drinking my coffee on the front porch, watching the birds and any animals
• When I meet someone new, I give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they are honest
• Writing is a passion for me.
• I always want to do the right thing
• My focus is the same even when no one is watching
• I have had depression since I was a teenager and will have it for the rest of my life

I wish I had written down what she pointed out.

I’m sure the list would look more complete. And not as simple as it feels now. Yes, these are true things about me. And yes, I am sure that there are other things too. But I am stymied to think of what they are. And my mind is not coming up with any leads. I’m drawing a blank regarding things that are true about me.

I understand that this exercise aims to build up my opinion of myself.

I feel I am a decent person who wants to do the right thing. In fact, I want to do whatever the company/legal entity/ person wants done. If there is a legal component, then I am all about doing it the right way. And if there isn’t, I am still doing it the right way.

So, I have that going for me.

 Here is where an example or two would come in handy. It would give you more insight into my world and my decision-making. OK, here is an example. At work, I am the guy who generally takes upset customer calls. Often, these turn out to be face-to-face customer interactions. The one helpful part of this is that the customer usually vents all their frustrations on the first one or two employees or managers they confront.

By the time I get them, they have often run out of upset things to say, and we can focus on solving their problem.

Usually, these things are quickly resolved. But I am committed to making the employee the hero. If the answer is yes, I want the employee to tell the customer. If the answer is anything but yes, then I want to be the one who tells the customer.

All this is to say that I am good with people.

After the customer has left, employees will say, “How can you not get upset with what they are saying?” My response is, “That’s what I get paid to do.” So, my job involves suppressing my emotions and staying cool, calm, and collected. My job is to solve problems within company policy. And in the end, I am exceptionally good at that.

The downside is suppressing annoyance, and even anger has a flip side.

As my therapist pointed out, you cannot suppress emotions that you don’t like and enjoy emotions you do like. So, if I am suppressing anger, joy is getting suppressed as well. And I cannot say that I ever thought about that before. I could see the advantage of not showing or feeling anger. Not feeling joy has never been something I have wanted to do.

This most likely explains why I am feeling “just OK.”

I am not sad, not glad, just OK. Even last week, trekking the Grand Canyon, I was OK, but just OK. I know that I am not a talker, but I am not quiet all of the time. Or I see myself that way. I interject when I have something important to say, but I am not a constant talker. But this isn’t justifying my not feeling more than OK.

I need to keep working on my list to report more than ½ a dozen things next week.

I may have something else to write that is true about myself. But I will have to see.