I‘ve been working on my book recently about my life with depression. This is a sample from one of the early chapters.
I planned to open a woodstove store and not become a chimney sweep.
The year was 1976 and renewable resources were becoming the newest fad. Heating with wood was in, and I wanted to be a part of that. My plan was to open a wood stove store and sell stoves with all the accessories. I had seen a few high traffic spots on Route 17 as you travel from York County into Newport News. Now opening a store of any kind requires capital. And while I had a profitable idea, It turns out I was missing the money to make my idea come true.
There were probably ways I could have financed the deal, but I wasn’t able to think them about them in any rational way.
My mind was already being reintroduced to my depression. My depression was beginning to demand more time, which I was unwittingly giving to it. I am notsure what I thought about my depression at that time. It was certainly tamer than it would be later in the year. And it didn’t slow down until I was on the bed, ready to give it all away.
What a day that was.
Later, I would refer to the following year, 1977, as my lost year. And for years and years, I would drop my “lost year” into casual conversation. I was actually proud of the fact that I could put a name to what was happening. IN 1977, I continued to work, but getting out of bed became harder and harder as the days grew shorter. I went out a bit, but mostly I kept to myself. There wasn’t much that interested me during those months.
Heck, there wasn’t much that interested me for the bulk of 1977.
But I digress. I should probably talk first about the business that I did start. It turns out that while a wood stove store was too pricey, being a chimney sweep was not. In fact, I was able to purchase a complete outfit, for less than $1,500. pLUS, I bought a 28-foot aluminum extension ladder i still have for the roofs I had to actually climb on, and away I went.
Joel Quass’ chimney sweep company did not sound very authentic.
So, I went to the library (this was before Google search) and took a look at the material. As I was reading, I came across a castle with an English sounding name. It was Jackstraw Castle. So, I borrowed the name and made a little adjustment.
The result was Jack Strawcastle, Master Chimney Sweep.
I began lining up jobs before I had all of the equipment delivered. At one point, I had received all of the brushes, poles, and tarps that I would need. But the vacuum I would run in the client’s house had still not been delivered. In fact, it was so large I was going to need to go to the freight terminal to pick up the vacuum when it arrived.
Because the freight company delayed the vacuum, I did the first two jobs with my regular shop vacuum in the client’s home.
This ended up working well. I was able to attach the flexible rods together with the properl brush and service the enter fireplace and chimney from inside the home. The first few jobs took way over an hour, start to finish. By the time I had done 400 chimneys, I could go from my initial inspection to collecting the money in 35 minutes. Often, I found myself slowing down a little so the clients would feel they got their money’s worth.
I did have several clients who did not need a chimney cleaning, and I told them so.
It was for me, unethical to “clean” a chimney that did not need cleaning. So, I would hand them a few business cards and leave, no job, no money. I suppose I could have done a “if you don’t do it, they will get someone else” chimney cleaning. Some people were just convinced they had to have their chimney swept, no if, ands, or buts. And I imagine I must have done a few of those just because.
But one of the most memorable chimney sweep jobs I had involved a house wife with way too much time on her hands.
Now I knew from experience that it is good luck to kiss a chimney sweep. In fact, having gotten free material from the National Fire Prevention Authority, I would do free talks around town to drum up business. And I always found a way to remind everyone attending that kissing a chimney sweep brought good luck.
But this woman took the idea of kissing a chimney sweep to the next level.
Even as I was laying out my tarps and brushes, she was hovering incredibly close. She was the only person ever to get on the tarp with me and look up the chimney. She was trying to bring me juice, soda, water, and offering me a beer and even stronger liquor. When I was done with the chimney, she kept me for an extra hour by insisting that I have lunch before I leave.
Now I may be way offer base, but it felt like she was trying to get my pants down around my ankles or off altogether.
And when she was down on the tarp with me, all I had to do was turn and we would have been one body rolling around on the tarps. I had not had any experience with this. And, while I was between girlfriends, I knew that she was married. Alnd although I didn’t want to be “that guy,” I could have been him at any time while I was there.
Actually, I probably would have been that guy if I had understood what was happening at the time.
But I was young, and even though I had been in several relationships that included sex, my depression was already working on me. My being private allowed my depression to be my only friend. Opening up to this woman would have been a blow to my depression. After all, I didn’t want my depression to think I didn’t value its ideas above everyone else’s.
But most importantly, she was married.
That day was much more memorable to me than most. It even beats out my second-best memory of being a chimney sweep. I could plan to be out at Dave’s uncle’s farm on a Saturday morning. We would hunt until around 10 AM. Then Dave’s uncle would have lined up one or two chimney sweeping jobs. Once these were done, we could get back in the woods for the late afternoon hunt.
Bringing Dave’s Aunt and Uncle a ham or a roast seemed like a small price to pay for all of the hospitality I received.
I still think fondly about those days. And about my time as a professional chimney sweep. Heck, when I started, the only other chimney sweep in the Tidewater, Va area was a Newport News Fire Fighter who did chimney sweeping part time. Had my depression not gotten in the way, I probably could have developed a permanent business around my chimney sweeping.
