Imagine saying this out loud:
“My last bottom was the deepest, darkest, most horrible place I have ever been.â€
Yet that was me last year.
Reading through some of my older writing, I came across this line. It reached out and stunned me. How could I have written that? I had no idea I was that bad. It’s no wonder I sought professional medical attention. Reading that again scares me.
And while I hate to read this quote, it is a reminder of how far I have come.
The saddest part of this quote is that I thought this was normal. I thought bad days spanning months, even years was a normal part of life. And while, at some level, I was railing against this, I was accepting of it, as well. It’s hard to see the forest for the trees.â€
READ: What is depression and why do I have it?
So, my thanks to every professional who has shown me a different way to live.
The staff at the emergency room, the staff at 5 North, my Psychiatrist, Therapists, Peer Support, and those who I’ve met at On Our Own, who by the way are Superheros. Then there are all the SMART Recovery folks, including everyone I met at their 25th Annual International Conference in Chicago. Plus, my WRAP training, and every other book, article, and video I have used to learn more about MDD.
READ: How I found out Superheros are real
My goal these days is to live a balanced life with depression. After all, “I have depression, depression does not have me.”
My concealed depression is written under the alias “Depression is not my boss.†I have certifications in SMART Recovery and am a Global Career Development Facilitator.
Diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder last year, I am sharing what I learn. If you know someone who might benefit from reading this, please share.
I very much appreciate your comments.
